Growing up I was always surrounded by my culture and never had to question why things were the way they were but things began to slowly change once I moved further and further from my reservation. It was a slow change and I didn't realize how drastic it had become until my kids came home from school to tell me what they learned about "native Americans" that day. I couldn't believe that my own children weren't informed of their own culture. They didn't know our traditional ways or heard the stories that I was privileged to hear growing up. It hurt me on such a spiritual level and I felt like I was failing my children and myself because I had let myself become so distant from my culture.
I realized I was not living the life I should have been. I let toxic relationships take a priority in my life. I let alcohol consume me and everyone I interacted with. I knew I had to make changes in my life for myself and for my children. I had to give them memories they can look back on and pass onto their children. I made a lot of changes and started bringing back my culture into my life. It started with a song to calm me down, some sage to cleanse my home and eventually planning our family vacation back to home during a time when ceremony was happening so that my kids and myself could be present.
This summer, my dad participated in his first ceremony that we have in the summer time. It is something that I did as a young girl and I know how hard it was. I knew we had to be there to support him like my mom and grandma supported me during it. I was going through a rough patch in my life so this came at the perfect time to give me an eye opener. I stopped drinking, I started spending more time with my family and improving those bonds with them. My mom and my sister helped me make ribbon skirts for my girls and I to wear when we went back. It felt so nice to just reconnect in small ways. So we started our 12 hour drive back home, I talked to my girls about what they would experience and what was expected out of them. I told them our traditions and why we do what we do. My dad and I have a different relationship because me and him were raised very differently. He was a boarding school survivor and it has taken him a long time to reconnect with his culture but seeing him make a full circle and heal himself as well brings me so joy. It makes me happy to know that my children will get to make the same memories with their papa that I got to make with my Grandma and my mom. When I saw how much this ceremony healed me and my dad's bond and my own life's current struggles I knew I had to keep on this journey. This journey to get back to my culture, to learn traditional ways, practice traditional ways and pass on this knowledge to my future generations.
So here's to reconnecting with my culture and learning more traditional ways to pass onto my children. Here's to learning how to be a good ancestor and leaving a legacy for our future generations.
XOXO
-L
